Post 249: Dodger

That’s the name of my brand new black Labrador retriever. He is so cute and he is only a little tiny puppy. That was my surprise a dog. I mean I am grateful and I like dogs but I don’t think I am really ready to be a pet owner because I am going to have so much shit to do in class and shit. I really like him though. He is so little though. I could hold him with two hands. He didn’t actually get named until Sunday. I wanted to put some though into his name because that will be the name that I will have to use for him forever so I have to make sure that I pick it wisely. I mean I probably will have to call it out and stuff so I had to make sure that it wasn’t something really fucking up like Pinky and shit. Dodgers a good name so I am going to roll with it. He has basically been the center of my attention since I got him because he is so small and shit. We went to pet smart on Friday and I cashed out on his little ass. I got chew toys, and a bed, a cage, a leash. I even got formula because he is still on bottle. Well he was. I took him to the vet at Petsmart (they have everything) and they basically told me that he was old enough to start eating wet food and then I will have to start giving him dry food. One good thing is that I didn’t have to worry about giving him shots so that was good. He hasn’t really done anything bad yet which is good. No throwing up on shit, no pissing in the house, even though I am trying to train him to use paper. It’s cute. I have to give him positive reinforcement for everything. He is so small its really like I have a baby. I was walking him and he just looked so small and I was trying to walk slow so he could keep up. I think the cutest part was the steps. He is scared of steps. Well he isn’t scared of walking down the steps but walking up he just won’t do it basically so I have to carry him. I like him though but I think he is making me sick though. I never thought I would be allergic but I might be because I have had a runny nose and I think I am coming down with a head cold.

I think my nigga was a little mad but then again I don’t really know why. I mean he came down here a week after I moved in and then he gave me a major responsibility in a dog. I mean we had sex and stuff be really didn’t do anything while he was down here. My homeboy was trying to make me feel bad because he kept saying that I was a bad host but I was really just doing stuff around my house and shit. I haven’t really had time to unpack a lot of my clothes and shit. It was really good to see him. I don’t really know how much we will see each other for the next few months. I have to really take advantage of the time we have together. Yeah I’ll admit we basically lounged around and chilled but there really isn’t anything to do here. At least there is nothing that I really know of. For example I went to the Durham tourism website and one of the things to do was go to Chuck E. Cheese. I was thinking wow that really says a lot about what goes on. Now that school is in session I think things are about to really pick up and shit. We did hit up the mall we went to the ‘ghetto mall’ Northgate. I call it the ghetto mall because that’s how two people characterized it but it didn’t seem that bad. I guess its ghetto because it has a Downtown Locker room and a Man Alive. I liked it though and they had a Macy’s. I got a few things. We also went to this little spot call the Green Room and played pool. I suck at pool but I am getting better. I think because I play yahoo pool. It was fun but I got tired of getting my ass kicked by my nigga and I don’t know why he had the urge to play pool in the first place.

He left Sunday night which was good because I did have class today and it was rough man. I have my schedule and I really hate it. I hate it with a passion. I think it is my worst schedule since my freshman year in college. It was nothing that I could do about it though. The way the schedule is set up you are basically screwed if you are a first year student. First off I have no days off. I am going to be going to school Monday through Friday. Not only that I have three days where I have all four of my classes on the same day. It’s really a bitch and a half. I see why people don’t work during law school. It’s so much that you have to do. One thing I will say is that the reading isn’t as bad as I thought I would be. That seems like the thing that people really talk about the most of the time. I mean I have some reading to do but its really not like reading for a test it’s reading for a discussion and shit. I also have to submit a writing a sample which is a little awkward considering that we haven’t had any writing assignments. They said its to access where we are.  I don’t know I think for the first time I really feel like I am over my head.  I am going to take it one day at a time. I really should not even be on here right now. I need to do be doing my damn reading for tomorrow and I still want to watch wrestling. I want to know who Vince McMahon’s and I know that I am not the only one that wants to know either.

Post 248: Surprise, Surprise

I hate surprises! Well I don’t have surprises really I actually enjoy them most of the time. I just hate the part where you have to actually wait for the surprise. It’s like there is that part where you just want it to be over and you want to know what it is already and get over the suspense. That is where I am right now. My boyfriend is coming down here to kick it with me for the weekend. I already knew that part that was planned from the start. Now he is telling me that he has a surprise for me when he comes down. I really have no idea what it possibly could be and he is not giving me any hints at all which is making me excited but at the same time angry. I really wish he would just tell me but he isn’t giving my any hints at all. So I just have to sit and wait and wonder what it possibly could be. I really don’t care that much about the surprise but I really just want to see him. Well I want to see him but I really want to have sex. I think we are going to really try to see each other as much as possible now that we are on some long distance shit. We were talking the other day and it hit us that we have been together for 2 ½ years. That’s a long for time for any relationship but it’s really long time for two dudes. My homeboy said that’s we been together for 14 years and shit trying to base it off dog years and shit but he is partially right. It seems like for whatever reason relationships between two dudes don’t last long at all. Maybe it’s because we are dogs. I really don’t know what we are going to do while he is down here because I really don’t know anyone down here and shit so we are basically going to be sitting in the house unpacking my shit.

One thing that we can do is play Madden 08. I brought it on the 360 and I am not sure if I am going to get it for the Wii because I read the reviews for it and they basically said that the graphics are the same from last year and they only thing they really added was online mode which I don’t care about because I don’t use online mode and some minor changes which would only confuse me because I am just getting use to the original controls. The 360 version is great. I went and got it at Best Buy last night at around 12 o clock to get the Madden game. I don't know because I am not a Madden addict but I guess all the commercials about Maddenites Unite and shit got to me.  The line wasn't as long as I thought it would be. There are little things that really make the game great. First off I am glad that they really beefed up my favorite part of the game, the franchise mode. I love taking a team and really molding them into what I want them to be what I want by carefully drafting, trading and signing people through the years. I also have a fascination with building the stadiums and shit. Another part that I like is that you can now basically take a person and build them up every week instead of only in training camp.  The game just feels really different like they have this whole weapons mode thing where they break down not only a player position but how they play that position. Like for example if they are a wide receivers they are different types of wide receivers. Its actually a little confusing but I think that I can really get use to it eventually. The graphics are also pretty good too. I also brought one of these Xbox 360 online kits so I can start playing people online. I think that ought to be fun. Plus I could play my nigga over the net which would be fun.

In other new school is going fine. Orientation is still pretty boring with all these little seminars. They are trying to make it fun by doing little things like having a cocktail parties and karaoke but it’s so cheesy that I just refuse to participate. They are even having a damn softball game. I do not want to play softball with any of these people at all. I guess that would be a good time to get to know some of my class mates but really I don’t really care that much about making friends. I look at it like friends will come with time. Today was the first day that I was actually looking forward to.  We had this guy Darryl Hunt come talk to us. He served almost 20 years in jail for a rape that he didn’t commit. Darryl was a black man and he was accused of raping this white female reporter. The key witness in the States case was a fucking KKK member and he was the only person that said made an ID. So basically 19 year old black man was sent to jail off the word of a KKK member. They later they found out that DNA evidence proved that he didn’t do it and he was released but he had already lost over half his life. I know that must be a horrible feeling to be locked up that long for something you didn’t even do. He now works for the Innocence Project which I guess is his calling now since they try to do what his lawyer did for him. It was really interesting and he was a really good speaker. People looked at me really funny because when it was time for the Q&A part I asked a legitimate question. ‘Despite you being exonerate on DNA evidence do you think that race still plays a part if the prosecution of African Americans in America or even just North Carolina’. I had to ask it was like people were asking all these cupcake ass question like ‘what do you do at the Innocence Project?’ and shit. I felt like they were really wasting the experience  of talking to a guy like this. They said he has a movie that was on HBO and that they played at the Sundance Film Festival. I want to go try to rent it.

Post 247: First Day at Duke

Well I am here at the Duke University school of Law. This shit is really exciting and I am getting pumped up now that I am actually here and doing my thing it is really scary but at the same time it looks like it will be really rewarding. It is like they really make it clear that this is Duke University school of Law and that we should be honored to be sitting there. It was really an uptight affair yesterday to say the least. I guess that is the type of shit that comes with territory. It was also very pretentious. I guess that’s something that comes along with going to a private school. I have always gone to good public schools but this is the first time that I have ever been to a private school. I guess this is what it is like. They call this LEAD week and it’s pretty interesting actually. Ok so it isn’t really interesting but its shit that we have to do I guess. Yesterday we spent the day talking about the Duke Honor Code and then we talked about the tradition of excellence at Duke which was a nice way to say here are the reasons that we are the shit. It’s really funny. I am here right now as we speak and I am sitting here thinking how the hell they are going to stretch this thing for 4 days but I think they have it all planned. It’s weird because I feel like I should be impressed with the people that are speaking and shit but I just am not. I guess because I don’t know enough about law to be impressed with them. For example we had lunch with some judge that was on the Court of Appeals and everyone was trying to talk to him and shit but I really wasn’t interested for real. I am glad that we don’t have anything like that today.

I did get my classes together so that is good. They actually already have our schedules made up for the first year of school. That’s a little scary but at the same time I guess it good because it makes sure that everyone has same foundation. Apparently the way this breaks down is that we only take 7 classes which aren’t that bad. It’s three each semester and then one year long legal writing class so basically 4 classes for the whole year. I feel like I am in high school all over again because we did that in high where were we took English and whatever our foreign language was on an A/B schedule all year. I guess that’s similar except its only one class. I opted to take Civil Procedure, Property, and Contracts. There really wasn’t a choice of what to take it basically a choice of when you take it so I decided to take all the boring stuff this semester so I could just get it out the way and suffer. The other classes seem a little more interesting. Next semester I will be taking Constitutional Law, Criminal Law and Torts. Ok so they don’t seem that interesting either but it more interesting than the other stuff I guess. Next year though I get to pick all my own classes which should be fun. Then the third year I am basically doing my own thing which is going to be good also. You only need 65 credits basically and I am going to be getting 30 this semester. I should be good but I don’t think that I will graduating early.

Enough about school though. When I got home yesterday my mother was monitoring the movers and shit while they were putting shit up which took something off my shoulders. She also was there to let the cable man in so they could set up the cable. I really don’t know what I would do without my mother. I am probably the epitome of a momma’s boy and I really didn’t start thinking about it until recently. My dad died at a really early age and I latched onto my grandmother but once she died I really have been a momma’s boy. I have to say that whatever she says basically goes. I mean of course we disagree on things and she does get on my nerves but for the most part she is really a great mother.  Besides her almost never being on time for anything she is really a great mom. I never really wanted for anything because of her and she always seemed to keep me on the right path. I really can’t and don’t want to think about her not being in my life because I really don’t have anyone I can really depend on like her. A good example was Sunday. I had got back from Hershey Park late last night around 12. Then when I got home she drove me down to North Carolina over night so I could make the first day of registration. I wasn’t going to go and I basically was just going to charge it to the game. She wasn’t having it though. She made sure I made it on time. Then when I came home she was already telling the movers where to put my shit. She is amazing. I know she was tired but she just wanted to make sure that I was ok. At the same time she was annoying me so I actually glad that she is gone back to Baltimore. She got back like 1 in the morning which was good because she got to get some rest. I wish I was sleep but I am sitting here

Post 246: Don’t call it a comeback…

It’s been a long time I know but I am back, I think. I mean I am not really sure if I am back or not but something has been stopping me from writing my entries. I can’t say that I have been busy because I really haven’t and that has never really stopped me in the past. I think I have just got out of the habit of posting everyday and now I guess I have gotten a little lazy that is never really a good thing. I like xanga and I don’t want to be like one of those people that have abandoned xanga for myspace (the Wal-mart of social networking sites) or facebook (the target).  I enjoy posting my thoughts here and it’s always good to look at the archives and see what’s really going on. I have so much to write about to actually but I am not going to sit here and write one of my infamously long and drawn out post about what’s going on with me. I think I’ll just hit the highlights just to hit the major highlights.

1. My mother has cancer- She told me that she has breast cancer. It’s a little disturbing because she waited until I got to Baltimore to tell me. I came home and that was the first thing that she told me. It was a little overwhelming because she was crying and my mother is a strong women so to see her crying was scary and awkward because I have almost never seen her cry. I really didn’t know what to say because I am not the most emotional guy in the first place but I just told her the first thing that came to mind which is that breast cancer is very beatable so she should be fine. The survival rates are crazy high for breast cancer. I am not really worried about whether she will survive I am more worried about how she will feel about being bald. I mean I know that she takes pride in having long hair and not having to use weaves or extensions. Now once she gets that chemotherapy she will go bald. I know she is worried about that even though she won’t admit it. She told me not to tell anyone and I haven’t. This is the first time I am evening bringing it up to anyone… That’s weird. I am not good with emotional things like that and I really didn’t know what to do. I guess I am just going to have to pray on it because I know I can not make it with out my mother. She is basically all I got.
    

2. Moving- Well the move is done basically. Well really I am no where near done. Right now I have no furniture because they haven't delivered it yet but I do have a place to live. I no longer stay in Ohio. I am now living in North Carolina.  I am now in law school. I am now in a long distance relationship again which is a bitch because temptation is a mother fucker for real. I like my new apartment though it is not the same like living downtown in a major city center. Actually it is the exact opposite. I stay in the woods basically and the place is even called The Forest. The place is pretty nice and spacious and I now have a patio which is good. I didn’t have a patio at my list place so I would have to go the sunroof but now I can just chill on my patio in the rain. The only downside is that there isn’t a garage. I am use to parking Regina in a nice garage and feeling safe but now she must be parked out in the parking long which makes me a little nervous but there really isn’t any need for garages out here so they just don’t have them. I think she will be safe. I really hope so especially because I got her inside re-done. This whole Durham area seems a little slow and a little stuck up. I hear it is a pretty progressive place though but I am still undecided on how I feel about the community.

3. Miscellaneous- I guess this is stuff that I really have been thinking about but I didn’t think It really needed its own section. I have been addicted to Making the Band 4.  I don’t really care that much about the band because I know they will be done after one album so Diddy can move on to another reality show but I love the eye candy. I really have a thing for Quanell and I hope he makes it over anyone else. I also thought it was funny the way Lorraine clowned the show I think it was a cope out how they have the fans voting though. MTB4 has been competing with the WWE for what I watch at 10 on Mondays. It looks like its getting pretty good again. Vince is back which is good and bad.  I like the direction that they were going in not having him around but I guess the rating were low so they are bringing him back in a big way and he apparently has a illegitimate child now. When I am not watching TV I am jamming to Plies because he is so fucking gutter. If he wasn’t 5 foot nothing I would be all over him but that height is ridiculous.  I have also been jamming to Chrisette Michelle she is my bitch and I fucks with her heavy. Her voice is so sexy and it’s such a throwback to the old days. I’m out.

Post 245: Surprise Visit

So my boyfriend is mad at me right now and I don’t care because I didn’t do anything. Well I think the reason is he is mad at me is because I really didn’t do anything. He didn’t really like that I guess. We have been taking an un-official break from each other. Not a break like we broke up or anything it’s just been he has been working and I have been basically getting ready to leave. We were together all the time for 2 weeks straight so the break was needed. Well he came home today and he came over my crib. We talked last night and he didn’t tell me anything about him coming home. That wasn’t it though. He also didn’t call me when he flew in from the airport. He decided that he would rather catch a taxi-cab to my crib and not even call me to come pick him up. I thought that was strange. He didn’t use the intercom to call me either to let him in. I don’t know how he got in. All he did was knock at my door. That made me feel a little uncomfortable. He just popped out of nowhere un-announced. It made me bad because it seemed like he was trying to catch me cheating because when he first came in he started looking around the rooms like he was looking for something. Of course he didn’t find anything because I haven’t really been doing anything but it was a little un-settling though that he even thought that I was cheating. I wanted to say something but I decided against it because it really wasn’t worth it because it would just cause drama. Plus I could not without a shadow of a doubt that was his intention but that is definitely what it felt like to me.

I didn’t let him really phase me though. I think that’s what made him mad. Once I let him in I kissed him or whatever but after that I went right back to cooking. I mean he came over un-announced so I wasn’t going to stop what I was doing. I went right back in the kitchen and resumed cooking. My mother e-mailed me this recipe for this fish called Tilapia. I never heard of the fish but its really good and it doesn’t have any bones in it. The recipe my mother gave me was easy and good as hell. It was a Tilapia breaded with shrimp on top of it. I made some garlic bread and corn and I was done. All of that took me only 30 minutes but it was really good. After I was done I went into my room and started eating. He thought I was being smart but he was playing the game and I wanted to watch TV. I wasn’t being smart. Well I was being a little smart because I wasn’t really talking to him the whole time I was in the kitchen. In my defense he wasn’t talking to me either. Why should I have to talk be the first one to say something? He was the one that barged in on me. When I went in the room he came in there also. I think he was trying to have sex or something like that but I was hungry and I was watching TV so I really wasn’t feel it at the TIME. I want to put a lot of emphasis on at the time because as I write this right now I wish I had did something because I am a horny and I don’t really want to be the first one to call. After I was giving him the cold shoulder in the bedroom he basically made up an excuse to leave and I didn’t stop him. I wish I did though because like I said I am horny. I have a feeling that by the end of the day I am going to give in.

When he left I didn’t let it phase me though. I just kept on doing my thing. I watched TV. I watched the first hour of wrestling. It is actually pretty good without having Vince McMahon at the fore front on the show. I think it really give more time for the wrestlers to develop their story lines. I hear that USA wants to expand Monday Night Raw into a three hour show. I don’t think that is possible. I know I would get bored watching three hours or Raw and it would not increase the amount of wrestling it would just increase the amount of fluff. As soon as ten hit I started watching Making the Band 4. I feel like such a homo for saying this but part of the reason I watch the show is just to watch the guys. When they were making Danity Kane I didn’t really care that much but this time around I am really all into it. I was mad at the homeboy Jonathan just up and left during dance practice. I thought that was a bitch move the fullest. I wonder what made him do it though. I don’t think it was just because he could not dance. I think it was because his brother (boyfriend) beat that ass in the boxing ring. I agree with him about some of the stuff not being a part of the singing competition but I still think he bitched out. He knew he was going to get cut. The group is forming pretty well so far. All they need to do is get rid of the fat guy and the white guy and then they can really start to make the group. I don’t either one of them are really going to make it anyway. I was shocked that Lori Ann went off on Diddy like that. He tried to cut off the camera and shit because he was straight clowning him. Diddy acts like he is God and she brought his ass right back down. I was proud of her. She will be ok because she is still the shit regardless of if she is working with making the band or not.